Body Dreaming

10/15/2019

I am slumping heavy to the earth, the left hand side of my body full of weight. I begin tensing it, squeezing the muscles inside. Whatever is underneath me feels fluid and ancient, but if I stop too long to notice it is like all my energy is drawn away. I hurt, but I try not to see this, try to move away from it. I want to correct it, bad body, stagnant body! Only the left hand side.

I stand up and become a tree. Tap, tap, tap! Begin using my palms to create patterns on my thighs. At first it is heavy and hard and then the patterns change into soft slaps, something in my skin releases and I feel a softness here that I haven't noticed before. Energy swims up and down my legs and I remember that it always changes, everything. To be as close to a moment as possible.

Now I am pushing my weight from one food to the other, alternate tip-toe. It feels good, swaying here, playing with gravity. I close my eyes and now I am in a big field, hopping over a fence, or a bridge. the grass either side is a luminescent green, and the sky is blue. I come down to the floor again, but this time to my right side. It feels less like I am drowning in floor, more like I am listening to the sea. My spine squiggles into a snake, I am making a path, on my tummy, guiding my self home through the long reedy grass. The sky is still blue. I slide my hands to the small of my back, ready and clothless, my skin on skin is tender. I feel earthed and remembered and loved.